Young Armenians prefer living independently as parents encourage it
Armenian youth prefer living independently
The average age of marriage in Armenia has changed significantly over the past 20 years. Statistics show that both women and men now marry around five to six years later. Young people explain this by saying that from the age of 18–20 they focus on building their careers. They believe this approach can ensure a stable income in the future.
Although divorce rates have risen in recent years, this does not mean that young people disregard marriage or treat it lightly. Sociological studies indicate that the new generation takes family life seriously and views it as a separate unit. Young people prefer to start a family when they can afford to live independently from their parents.
It is clear that the tradition of living with one’s parents is gradually losing relevance, both for the younger generation and for their families.
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Mother who encouraged her sons to live independently
Asmik has two sons. From their early years, she told them that at a certain age, they would need to live independently.
“I didn’t mean when they would start their own families. After completing their military service, the boys continued their education, found jobs, and by the age of 25, both rented apartments and began living separately,” Asmik says.
She recalls that relatives and friends reacted negatively to these changes in her family. She heard people gossiping, saying she was “getting rid of her children” or “trying to be European.”
Now both of Asmik’s sons are married. Each has bought an apartment on a mortgage and continues to live independently from their parents. But on weekends, holidays, and for various occasions, the whole family gathers at their parents’ home.
“We enjoy being together and have a wonderful time as a family. Living separately isn’t an attempt to seem modern. It’s the foundation for happiness and healthy relationships. Even if we had a large mansion where we could all live together, I would still advise my sons to live independently,” she explains.
Many years ago, her mother-in-law helped her gain independence and have her own space.
“I will be grateful to her for the rest of my life. At that time, it was unheard of. Today, it’s simply a necessary condition if you want your children to be happy,” Asmik insists.
She believes that as parents age, independent living becomes important for them too:
“People’s personalities start to change. Life isn’t the same as in youth or middle age. I don’t want to create problems for the younger generation. Besides, it’s hard for two women to live in the same kitchen. In my circle, I don’t know a single family that lived together without conflicts. We live once. Why burden each other, complain, or gossip?”
Asmik helps her sons’ families by looking after the grandchildren. She picks them up from kindergarten, cares for them, and entertains them until the parents return from work. On weekends, she takes the grandchildren to the cinema or park. The children stay with her when the sons and their wives go on trips or work assignments.
“I know families where grandparents live with their children but don’t spend time with their grandchildren. They don’t know their preferences or routines. For me, when I have a busy day, I give advance notice so they don’t count on me,” she says.
Asmik also has friendly relationships with her daughters-in-law. She says they sometimes even call to complain about her sons:
“I’m honest with them. I never hold grudges and speak openly. At the same time, I respect their personal space and decisions.”
Statistical data show a shift in the age of marriage
Young people told sociologists that they delayed starting a family because they wanted financial independence and stable incomes. They also said they aimed to secure their own housing before marrying.
According to data from the UN Population Fund in Armenia, the average age at first marriage has risen for both men and women. In 2024, women married for the first time at an average age of 29.1, while men were 32.6. In comparison, in 2004, the average age was 23.5 for women and 27.5 for men. Over the past 20 years, both men and women have started marrying roughly five years later.
‘We don’t tell a couple that the problem lies with their parents; they come to that conclusion themselves‘
Many couples on the brink of divorce turn to psychologist Aram Tandilyan. He says most problems stem from living with parents, parental interference in decisions, and a lack of personal space.
“In our society, people usually assume the husband’s parents play the ‘bad role,’” he explains. “But after several sessions, it becomes clear that the wife’s parents also exert influence. Couples often face interference from both sides in their shared life.”
Tandilyan points out that therapy doesn’t happen in a day; courses can last for months.
“The root of the problem is often that parents don’t raise children to make their own decisions. They don’t help them develop into independent individuals capable of taking responsibility for their lives. Another key issue is financial and psychological dependence on parents. For example, a forty-year-old man can’t pay his own utility bills—his parents cover them. Or a woman may create problems in her family just to gain her mother’s approval.”
He says young couples need time to recognise that the tangled issues in their relationship often trace back to parents, cohabitation, and dependence.
“We don’t tell them what to do or give direct advice. We have honest, open conversations. Through questions and answers, we help them reach the core of the problem. We create a situation that triggers a ‘wake-up’ moment. People often don’t fully understand the problem troubling them. Parents may take offence, but they are raising their children incorrectly.”
Tandilyan stresses the importance of fostering independence, self-confidence, and responsibility from an early age. He recommends starting with children as young as three and gradually expanding their freedoms and duties:
“There should be no difference between boys and girls. Boys also need household responsibilities. My eight-year-old son comes home from school, eats on his own, tidies his room, takes public transport to lessons, and returns home. I’ve met grown men who can’t even boil an egg or wash a dirty plate.
Especially with boys, mothers struggle to ‘cut the cord.’ They want to remain constantly involved, solving household problems, giving advice, providing financial support, and so on,” the psychologist says.
Armenian youth prefer living independently
Armenian youth prefer living independently
