“Vacuum” and “elegance”

Sex experts from neighboring countries leer at Tbilisi with a predatory eye, sort of casually interested:

-What if we organize a master-class on oral sex techniques?

If last year Tbilisi just opened its eyes wide in surprise, now it is ardently discussing the logistics: how much it will cost to rent a venue, how long it will last and the price per person.

The organizers are naturally facing difficulties forecasting the number of locals who will be interested in oral sex techniques so much so that they will be tempted to attend a master-class, but an entrepreneurial spirit makes them indefatigable and encourages them to give it their all.

Therefore, some closed events are organized on the Facebook, public groups are speedily created on VK (rus. V Kontakte) and similar manipulation efforts are carried out on “Odnoklassniki.

I doubt the first group meeting will be arranged soon.

“Dive, “vacuum, “elegance-this is hardly a complete list of techniques that will make your man bow at your feet, Miranda, 35, my neighbor, who is a loving wife, mother and a housewife, reads about this with interest.

If one reflects on it, the depiction of a man in this master-class description doesn’t add up to much: a creature that has completely lost his sanity from imulsive sex and is ready to go to any lengths to experience this ingenuous bliss over and over again.

However, this is obviously not a passage that will excite aversion in traditional Georgian women. They are used to regarding sex, as well as their husbands, with a certain lofty indifference.

There is nothing new about this: the patriarchal double standards are utterly demanding on a woman- they value her chastity, dignity, restraint. At the same time, they show a less pejorative attitude towards men, allowing him to be a womanizer, a heavy-drinker and a loud-mouthed bafoon.

The women, who follow these rules, treat their husbands like their pets: the most important thing is to wine and dine them, as well as to provide care. It’s certainly troublesome, but there is nothing one won’t do for the sake of love.
Surprisingly enough, such an attitude is in no way offensive for the men, who are also following the rules.

I really wish I could write that our neighboring countries, intending to subject Georgian consumers to oral caresses, are inculcating some uncongenial values, but I cannot say that.

The reason is that the “values are dear and fundamental to the patriarchal culture. New knowledge of oral sex techniques will fall on a favorable soil, fertilized by a centuries-old patriarchy and will definitely dig its roots in.

The novelty here is that a traditional wife might have been kicked out with shame from her husband’s house just for demonstrating a “vacuum technique, whereas now, on the contrary, this skill seems to be strengthening her position.
As it is known, Georgia is located at the crossroads of the East the West. Sometimes it seems that each of them is pulling on Georgia, but they are almost equal in strength and thus, Georgia is caught in a tug-of-war.

The West is very attractive, but not that accessible. Sometimes it moderately cracks open a vent pane, and we can feel a fresh breeze of equal rights and opportunities.

But then a loud-mouthed Easterner suddenly flings the door open and we are blown off by a patriarchal draught.
I am writing “East, but that’s again conditional because right now we can also feel a draft from the North.

Published: 21.04.2016

Translated from Russian