5 dead giveaways you are talking to an Orthodox Christian fundamentalist
1.
They worship the Patriarch [Ilia II, the 82-year-old head of the Orthodox Christian Church of Georgia]. And melt when they see photos of him. And publish the photos on social media, calling for them to be “commented with a heart and shared on. And worry about his health. And wince at the idea of him dying one day, because, oh, God, when he dies, the time shall end – for Georgia at the least, if not for the whole world.
2.
They will, in a conversation with a non-Georgian, argue their heart out, claiming that the Georgian people converted to Christianity long before the interlocutor’s ancient kinsmen did. They absolutely must – it’s a matter of honour to them – to make their counterpart admit that Georgians are a unique people in that no one else can believe in God as strongly, as ardently or, let’s not be modest here, as purely as they do.
3.
They have an unkillable certainty that Mary the Mother of Christ has taken it upon herself to be the patron and protector to the unique Georgian people. Of course, there may be others She’s kindly chosen to patronize, but – you can’t sensibly doubt it, can you? – protecting Georgia is number one priority for Her. And this holy protection – not sovereignty, international law or any other similar rubbish – is the reason one mustn’t dare start a war against Georgia.
4.
They fear all things Western. So, they believe – and don’t you even try to make them think otherwise – that Europe is a breeding ground for pedophiles and gays, who can’t wait to infect the yet pure Georgian youth with their ‘perversions’. They utter the phrase ‘European values’ as if it were a curse word. George Soros is, to them, the Satan himself. Or, at least, the Anti-Christ.
5.
They are the vice squad ever on the alert for attempts to undermine the country’s moral principles. And the praisers of the ‘beauty’ of Georgian traditions, social patterns and patriarchal family values. And the advocates of virginity, saying that giving it up would spell the death of the whole Georgian nation. And the denouncers of contraceptives, that evil invention of Satan’s meant to prevent Georgia reclaiming its former greatness.
And so they talk, passionately and aggressively, short of breath and of arguments. To make up for the lack of arguments, they may call their interlocutor a dirty homosexual who’s sold his soul to Soros, the arch enemy of Georgia.
Posted on Nov. 25, 2015
