{"id":7274,"date":"2017-12-20T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-12-20T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jam-news.net\/az\/h%c9%99bsxanadan-m%c9%99ktublar-yuxunun-realliqdan-ustun-tutuldugu-m%c9%99kan\/"},"modified":"2022-01-18T01:23:14","modified_gmt":"2022-01-17T21:23:14","slug":"h%c9%99bsxanadan-m%c9%99ktublar-yuxunun-realliqdan-ustun-tutuldugu-m%c9%99kan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jam-news.net\/az\/h%c9%99bsxanadan-m%c9%99ktublar-yuxunun-realliqdan-ustun-tutuldugu-m%c9%99kan\/","title":{"rendered":"H\u0259bsxanadan m\u0259ktublar: Yuxunun reall\u0131qdan \u00fcst\u00fcn tutuldu\u011fu m\u0259kan"},"content":{"rendered":"
Anastasiya Loqvinenkonun \u015f\u0259kli\u00a0<\/span><\/h5>\n

<\/span>\u201cH\u0259bsxanadan m\u0259ktublar\u201d JAMnews-un yeni layih\u0259sidir. H\u0259r \u015fey redaksiyaya \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck h\u0259bs c\u0259zas\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f m\u0259hkumdan m\u0259ktub g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra ba\u015flad\u0131. Yuri Sarkisyan art\u0131q 23 ildir ki, h\u0259bsxanadad\u0131r. O \u00fcr\u0259yini bo\u015faltmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn biz\u0259 yaz\u0131r, h\u0259m d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr ki, c\u0259miyy\u0259t \u201ctikanl\u0131 m\u0259ftilin o t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259\u201d ya\u015fananlardan x\u0259b\u0259rdar olmal\u0131d\u0131r. Biz onunla raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131q, layih\u0259 d\u0259 bu c\u00fcr yarand\u0131. <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

Yuri Sarkisyan\u0131n ikinci m\u0259ktubu<\/b><\/span>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

G\u00fcll\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259! Qara mantiyal\u0131 m\u0259mur bel\u0259 q\u0259rar verdi: s\u0259tirl\u0259r \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 g\u0259zi\u015f\u0259n laqeyd, amma q\u0259r\u0259zli bax\u0131\u015f; \u00f6l\u00fcm p\u00fcsk\u00fcr\u0259n a\u011f\u0131z… Qollar\u0131ma tax\u0131lan polad \u201cbil\u0259rzikl\u0259r\u201d tama\u015fan\u0131n yekunudur. \u018fdal\u0259t q\u0259f\u0259si sonsuz \u00fcmman kimi a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. \u0130nsanlar ayaq \u00fcst\u0259 alq\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131, onlar \u00f6l\u00fcm t\u0259l\u0259b edirdi, t\u0259l\u0259bl\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259 nail olmu\u015fdular. M\u0259n bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun d\u00f6n\u00fcb zala – \u00a0qisas hissinin \u0259ydiyi sif\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 \u00a0baxmad\u0131m. Sonra k\u00fcncl\u0259ri hamarlanm\u0131\u015f pentaqram formas\u0131nda h\u0259bsxana h\u00fccr\u0259si. H\u0259r\u00e7\u0259nd orada he\u00e7 d\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey hamar deyil…<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u0130yirmi \u00fc\u00e7 ildir ki, h\u0259r g\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 sual edir\u0259m \u2013 m\u0259n nec\u0259 ancaq \u015f\u0259rti olaraq \u201ch\u0259yat\u201d adland\u0131r\u0131lan bu yasam\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m? N\u0259 \u015f\u0259f\u0259ql\u0259r, n\u0259 q\u00fcrublar, n\u0259 emosional y\u00fcks\u0259li\u015fl\u0259r, n\u0259 d\u0259 eni\u015fl\u0259r, il, g\u00fcn, saat b\u00f6lg\u00fcs\u00fc olmayan \u2013 yuxunun reall\u0131qdan daha \u00fcst\u00fcn tutuldu\u011fu bu m\u0259kanda… \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Yegan\u0259 o\u011fluna g\u00f6r\u0259 atamdan pul ist\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r. Amma bunun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn toplanm\u0131\u015f pulu taleyin oyunu il\u0259 ba\u015fqa canil\u0259r qocan\u0131 q\u0259sb ed\u0259r\u0259k o\u011furlad\u0131lar. M\u0259ni is\u0259 diri-diri basd\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

D\u0259mir darvazan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda m\u0259n sevdiyimin g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 \u0259ks olunan g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f\u0259 son d\u0259f\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Bu t\u0259x\u0259yy\u00fcl\u00fcn m\u0259niml\u0259 oyunumu idi, yoxsa o do\u011frudan da m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131? \u00d6n\u0259mli deyil. \u018fsas odur ki, m\u0259n inand\u0131m. Bu, h\u0259yatda qalma\u011f\u0131ma, yaln\u0131z \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n v\u0259 azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n d\u0259y\u0259rini deyil, h\u0259m d\u0259 ist\u0259nil\u0259n \u015f\u0259raitd\u0259 geriy\u0259 d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc olmayan add\u0131mlardan \u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259yi d\u0259rk etm\u0259y\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k oldu. H\u0259yatda is\u0259 h\u0259r ola bilir…<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

B\u0259s h\u0259r \u015fey n\u0259 zaman ba\u015flay\u0131b? T\u0259rxis olunub, qeydiyyata d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259 rayonuna g\u00f6nd\u0259rildim [1988-ci ild\u0259 Erm\u0259nistanda g\u00fccl\u00fc z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259 olmu\u015fdu. R\u0259smi m\u0259lumatlara g\u00f6r\u0259, bu z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 25 min n\u0259f\u0259r h\u0259lak olub, yar\u0131m milyon n\u0259f\u0259r ev-e\u015fiksiz qal\u0131b]. Missiyan\u0131n sonunda Novosibirsk Su N\u0259qliyyat\u0131 M\u00fch\u0259ndisl\u0259ri \u0130nstitutunun \u0130qtisadiyyat Fak\u00fclt\u0259sin\u0259 daxil oldum, eyni zamanda Qafqaz, Moskva v\u0259 Sibir regionlar\u0131nda vasit\u0259\u00e7ilik biznesi il\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Amma \u201cilk yap\u0131lan \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k k\u00fct\u0259 getdi\u201d: reketl\u0259rl\u0259 bir toqqu\u015fma, sonra n\u00f6vb\u0259ti toqqu\u015fma… Yerin s\u00fclh yolu il\u0259 f\u0259thini bir k\u0259nara qoymal\u0131 oldum. <\/i><\/b>Bir n\u00f6v anti-reket t\u0259\u015fkil etdim, dig\u0259r i\u015f adamlar\u0131na m\u00fcmk\u00fcn itkil\u0259rd\u0259n qorunmalar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Q\u0131sa m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ril\u0259r aras\u0131nda n\u00fcfuz v\u0259 etibar qazand\u0131q.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

M\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n bir m\u0259qamda say\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 itirdim v\u0259 birja oyun\u00e7ular\u0131n\u0131n toruna d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm v\u0259 \u00fcmumi toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z m\u0259bl\u0259\u011fin xeyli hiss\u0259sini itirdim. <\/span><\/i>\u015e\u0259rikl\u0259rimd\u0259n bir k\u0259lm\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0131naq e\u015fitm\u0259dim, amma dostlu\u011fumuz ba\u015fa \u00e7atd\u0131. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259tlik Yerevana getdim. Sonra n g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z z\u0259ng g\u0259ldi. Ke\u00e7mi\u015f dostlar\u0131ma \u201catm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar\u201d, h\u0259m d\u0259 yet\u0259rinc\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck m\u0259bl\u0259\u011fd\u0259: Yerevan\u0131n valyuta d\u0259llallar\u0131 onlara saxta pul soxu\u015fdurmu\u015fdu. A\u011f\u0131r n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olacaq \u201crazborka\u201d g\u00f6zl\u0259nilirdi, m\u0259n is\u0259 buna yol ver\u0259 bilm\u0259zdim. D\u0259llallarla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm, onlar da problemin dinc yolla h\u0259llin\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131lar. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 h\u0131r \u015fey bel\u0259 d\u0259 gedirdi, \u201catan\u015fikl\u0259rin\u201d qaytarma\u011fa boyun olduqlar\u0131 pullar\u0131n oldu\u011fu \u00a0m\u0259nzil d\u0259 b\u0259lli idi. Bundan sonras\u0131 korland\u0131. Tapan\u00e7an\u0131n ni\u015fangah\u0131nda oldu\u011fumun f\u0259rqin\u0259 vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m zaman art\u0131q d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259c\u0259k bir \u015fey qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 h\u00fccum ed\u0259n h\u0259r iki \u015f\u0259xsi g\u00fcll\u0259l\u0259dim. Qa\u00e7mal\u0131 v\u0259 yar\u0131m il gizl\u0259nm\u0259li oldum.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Bu faktlard\u0131r: onlar\u0131 izah etm\u0259k v\u0259 ya haqq qazand\u0131rmaq olmaz. H\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131zda ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n ziyan\u0131na y\u00f6n\u0259lmi\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn add\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131z kimi. O zaman m\u0259hk\u0259m\u0259 zal\u0131nda dul qalm\u0131\u015f qad\u0131nlar\u0131n, yetim qalm\u0131\u015f u\u015faqlar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rt\u0131lar\u0131 e\u015fidilirdi… <\/i><\/b>[pullquote align=”right”]<\/span> M\u00fcdafi\u0259 olunma\u011fa m\u0259cbur qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 s\u00fcbut etm\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259tim \u00e7atmad\u0131<\/b>. [\/pullquote]<\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00fcmun\u0259vi sovet v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015f\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259bl\u0259rin\u0259 uy\u011fun g\u0259l\u0259n cavan o\u011flan nec\u0259 oldu ki, d\u0259r\u0259 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 yuvarland\u0131? Bilmir\u0259m. He\u00e7 vaxt m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti \u0259trafdak\u0131 v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 y\u0131xmaq meylim olmay\u0131b, n\u0259 bilim \u201cda\u011f\u0131lmaz ittifaq\u0131n\u201d ancaq xarabal\u0131qlar\u0131 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 sair v\u0259 ilax\u0131r.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Ax\u0131 da\u011f\u0131lan \u0130ttifaq deyildi \u2013 insan \u00f6z\u00fc da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131: ke\u00e7mi\u015f v\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k aras\u0131nda, il\u011f\u0131m v\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259t aras\u0131nda. <\/i><\/b>\u0130lk v\u0259 yegan\u0259 sovet prezidenti yenid\u0259nqurma elan etdi v\u0259 bu da \u0259sas\u0259n bizim beyinl\u0259rimizd\u0259 ba\u015f verirdi. B\u0259zil\u0259ri bacard\u0131, \u00e7oxlar\u0131 macal tapmad\u0131. Milli m\u00fcnaqi\u015f\u0259l\u0259r, \u018ffqan\u0131standan qa\u00e7\u0131\u015f, \u015e\u0259rqi Almaniyan\u0131n itirilm\u0259si… b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonu kimi q\u0259bul edilirdi.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u018fks\u0259riyy\u0259t \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn kommunist partiyas\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 forpost idi, h\u0259tta SSR\u0130 Konstitusiyas\u0131n\u0131n 6-c\u0131 madd\u0259sinin (S\u0130KP-in r\u0259hb\u0259r rolu haqda) l\u0259\u011fvin\u0259 bel\u0259 baxmayaraq. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, reall\u0131q daha ayd\u0131n olmad\u0131: musiqi eyni qald\u0131, s\u00f6zl\u0259r d\u0259yi\u015fdi. Xalq \u00f6l\u00fc idollara sitayi\u015f etm\u0259kd\u0259n qurtuldu, v\u0259ssalam. \u018fv\u0259zind\u0259 yeni kumirl\u0259r yaratma\u011fa qoyuldu…<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Art\u0131q h\u0259bs olunmu\u015f \u015f\u0259xs kimi Erm\u0259nistan s\u0259rh\u0259dini ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n, yenid\u0259n faci\u0259nin eyb\u0259c\u0259rl\u0259\u015fdirdiyi da\u011f\u0259t\u0259yini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Sanki da\u011flar\u0131n d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli nal\u0259 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259r\u0259k, torpa\u011f\u0131 aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131nd\u0131n s\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdim. Bir<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

an\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 minl\u0259rl\u0259 \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u0131\u011fd\u0131, g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 sel\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u00fc v\u0259 \u00e7oxlu-\u00e7oxlu m\u0259zar da\u015flar\u0131 s\u0131raland\u0131…<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

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1988-ci ild\u0259 iki il xidm\u0259td\u0259n sonra dostumla ev\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131q. Dekabr\u0131n 7-d\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 yolda idik. Doqquzunda Tbilisiy\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. Paytaxt mat\u0259m i\u00e7ind\u0259 idi. Yaln\u0131zca qon\u015fulara g\u00f6r\u0259 yox. Sars\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n miqyas\u0131 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr imkanlar\u0131n\u0131 zorlay\u0131rd\u0131. Stereotipl\u0259r, inam, binalar da\u011f\u0131l\u0131b toz olmu\u015fdu. <\/span><\/i>\u015e\u00f6vql\u0259 yarad\u0131lm\u0131\u015f h\u0259r \u015fey m\u0259hv olmu\u015fdu. Bunun ard\u0131nca g\u00f6z\u00fcn a\u00e7\u0131lmazsa, frustrasiya ba\u015flay\u0131r.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00dcmidl\u0259ri bo\u015fa \u00e7\u0131xan insan g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcn h\u0259qiqi m\u0259nas\u0131nda darmada\u011f\u0131n olur. Beynim \u201csabun k\u00f6p\u00fckl\u0259rinin partlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u201d qavraya bilmirdi. Siyasi f\u0131rt\u0131na qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ke\u00e7\u0259ni sovururdu: \u015f\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259ri, k\u0259ndl\u0259ri, talel\u0259ri alt-\u00fcst edir, zamandan ke\u00e7\u0259r\u0259k imperiyan\u0131, qurulu\u015fu, ideyalar\u0131 he\u00e7liy\u0259 qovu\u015fdururdu.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Q\u0131sa zaman k\u0259siyind\u0259 planet tamam\u0259n d\u0259yi\u015fdi. Qorxunc par\u00e7alanmalar yaln\u0131z yeri b\u00fcr\u00fcm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Onlar havada \u2013 vaxtil\u0259 n\u0259h\u0259ng \u00f6lk\u0259y\u0259 aid olan insanlar\u0131n ruhlar\u0131nda, q\u0259lbl\u0259rind\u0259 v\u0259 beyinl\u0259rind\u0259 b\u0259rq vururdu. <\/i><\/b>B\u00f6y\u00fck ail\u0259 xalq\u0131n dostlar\u0131na v\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nl\u0259rin\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fcnd\u00fc… Biz sad\u0259c\u0259 \u00e7ar\u0259sizlik g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fck v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc d\u0259 itirm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Spitak\u0131n da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 alt\u0131nda insan qal\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 axtarma\u011fa getdik.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Sonrak\u0131 hadis\u0259l\u0259r kabusdak\u0131 kimi c\u0259r\u0259yan edirdi. Biril\u0259ri xilas edir, dig\u0259rl\u0259ri varlan\u0131rd\u0131. He\u00e7 kim sa\u011f qalanlar\u0131n ziyan\u0131n\u0131 kompensasiya etm\u0259k niyy\u0259tind\u0259 deyildi. Bir \u00e7ox hallarda bu sad\u0259c\u0259 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi. 1988-ci il dekabr\u0131n 7-d\u0259 Erm\u0259nistan torpa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 alt-\u00fcst ed\u0259n yeralt\u0131 t\u0259kanlar sakinl\u0259rin inam\u0131n\u0131, q\u0259lbl\u0259rini v\u0259 beyinl\u0259rini par\u00e7alama\u011fa davam edirdi. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Art\u0131q he\u00e7 n\u0259 erm\u0259nil\u0259ri ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndak\u0131 torpa\u011f\u0131n m\u00f6hk\u0259mliyin\u0259 \u0259min ed\u0259 bilm\u0259zdi. Ordudan qay\u0131dan bizi orduya g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259n d\u00fcnyadan tam ba\u015fqa bir d\u00fcnya qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131rd\u0131. Sonra ba\u015fqa da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lar da oldu, ba\u015fqa insanlar, m\u00fcxt\u0259lif talel\u0259r. N\u0259 c\u00fcrs\u0259 ya\u015famaq laz\u0131m idi, ba\u015fqalar\u0131na mane olmadan, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 bir par\u00e7a s\u0259man\u0131 qoruyaraq. Amma al\u0131nmad\u0131, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n…<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

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